Of course you want to know what you’re getting into.
I've tried to answer everything I get asked — and then some — so you can confidently make your next move, whatever that is.
Getting started
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We will talk for about 15 minutes (okay, closer to 20) about how you found me and what you're looking for. I will talk about how I would approach your concerns. We will also talk logistics like in-person vs virtual, fee, and scheduling. And through it all, we will get a sense of each other - so much of the call is a vibe check for you too.
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I totally get it. Honestly, therapy is pretty weird - the idea of cold calling a stranger to open up all your darkest thoughts? Wild. I want to earn the right to hear the hard stuff so please know that that first call is really just a gentle vibe check. You get to see that I'm a real person. If it still feels scary, feel free to take a look around here, read some of my writing, and — if you're willing — book a call for a week or so. Once it's scheduled, it often feels more accessible. I'm rooting for you.
Logistics
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I am in my Oakland office on Mondays and my SF office on Thursdays so I prioritize in person sessions on those days, though there’s often room for virtual sessions too. Tuesdays and Wednesdays are full virtual days. I try to offer some evening appointments, though they fill fast, as well as morning appointments.
I want to meet you where you're at, whether that's with coffee in hand, flopping down on my office couch midday, or coming in after a full day of life.
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I'm licensed in CA and NY. I see clients virtually from various parts of CA and NY. I keep Pacific Time hours, which actually works better for my New Yorkers wanting end of day appointments.
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No, but it's a good place to start. Weekly sessions build the relationship at a steady pace so that we can go deeper. I also see people twice weekly - somehow the work deepens exponentially when we do that. I also see people every two weeks, but usually after a long course of weekly or twice weekly. A lot of life happens in two weeks and it can be hard to go deep when we're playing catch up for 40 minutes.
Money
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Oh that is such a tender thing, right? Our relationship to money intersects with security and values. I want to honor that.
My full fee is $250 and I offer sliding scale. I will not make you pull out bank statements — I'll simply ask “what's a fee that would be sustainable once you prioritize and budget for it?” And I'll make sure I know my needs and limits too so that we can find a fee that meets both of us where we're at.
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Paying out of pocket gives our work more autonomy — we don't have to defend our work to insurers. You can use HSA/FSA funds for our sessions, if that's helpful. I'll support you using out-of-network benefits by providing a superbill, an itemized receipt you submit to insurance for partial reimbursement.
Not sure what your out-of-network benefits look like? It's worth a quick call to your insurer before we start — just ask about your out-of-network mental health benefits and reimbursement rate.
My approach
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Most of us were never taught to notice thoughts without getting pulled into them, to allow difficult emotions to rise and fall, trusting that they won't overtake us, to choose actions that actually reflect who we are and what matters to us. This is the heart of my training: how to be more present, more open to life, and more engaged.
That's the destination.
And to get there, we need to sort through all the stuff that makes that hard: your history, your inner world and motivations and needs, the world and its expectations from us. By looking at all this, we find that being more regulated, more authentic, more connected becomes clearer.
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Deep work isn't possible if you're in a constant state of activation; then, we need to get some skills in place to regulate the nervous system. A lot of my clients though have some foundation of skills - they know a walk or journaling is probably a good idea - and are confused at why that's not working. So deeper work that asks what is really happening will actually enhance skill use. I rarely assign "homework;" instead, sessions end with an intuitive and specific invitation that we came up with together.
Fit and hesitation
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The people who look fine on the outside but internally feel like weirdos or messes. The ones leaving a hangout questioning if they talked too much or were annoying or hurt someone's feelings. The chronic what-ifers, the overthinkers, the ones trying hard but somehow not quite "measuring up to their potential." If you want to understand yourself better and create a life truly your own -
Welcome. We have snacks.
On the other hand, people who want a blank slate therapist will probably not find my interjections and expressive face comforting. If you're looking for worksheets and quick fixes, our work might frustrate you.
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I'm so honored you're even considering again - bad therapy is more harmful than no therapy so if you've had some rough experiences, it takes bravery to try again.
I think of therapy in this context like any close relationship. A falling out with one friend doesn't make you give up on friendship. A bad breakup makes you more careful, but not closed off. So proceed carefully, collect data, but also let this new relationship speak for itself.
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Well… I'd ask if you're just used to functioning really well. Because the ones who seemingly have it all together often realize their life is built on masking and suppression and busyness.
Your high functioning has gotten you this far. But something is missing — otherwise you wouldn't be reading this. And you deserve to sort that out with someone. If you're used to taking care of yourself or prioritizing everyone else before yourself, then reaching out for help is uncomfortable. It doesn't make you any less deserving.
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For the most part, I don’t work with teenagers, but I'm open if it's the right fit. I do work with college students, but younger teenagers might need a different approach. Reach out and we can talk about whether I might be the right fit.
On couples: I want to work more with couples, so yes. To be transparent, my experience with couples is more limited than my experience with individuals. I do consult regularly with a supervisor trained in couples therapy so we won't be diving into this work alone. I am also seeking out additional training and reading to support my work with couples. You deserve to trust that your couples therapist can contain all the complex emotions, needs, and motivations in your relationship while respecting both of you. Let's talk to see if I'm that person for you.
Practical
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I use Simple Practice for my practice that includes scheduling, billing, paperwork, and HIPAA compliant video. You'll have a portal that lets you add credit cards, complete initial paperwork, and even set reminders so you don't miss a session.
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I keep it brief because getting to know you can't be rushed. So you'll see my policies and give me a little bit about your history, goals, and symptoms. It shouldn't take more than ten minutes. The first session is where we really dive in.
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I ask for 48 hours’ notice or the full session fee applies. If we are able to reschedule before the next meeting, the cancellation fee will be waived.
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Sometimes the sense of things not working is where therapy begins. So we talk about feeling bored or uncertain or even frustrated. This sounds like me saying I wonder if you ever think this isn't what I signed up for or I get the sense you feel restless - what's this process like for you? Alternatively, you might initiate doubts or concerns.
By talking them through, we untangle if they are part of a larger pattern - of boredom, of attachment to some ideal, of relationships going stale - or an actual mismatch. When it's time for therapy to end either because of a mismatch earlier on or enough progress that you want a break, then we meet one more time. Because how often do we get to close a relationship with respect and care? So we will talk about what worked and even what didn't and where you're going next. And after that, I'll root for you from afar.